Intro/How Did I Get Here?

Welcome to the Bored To Life blog. I was thinking of doing a zine, but I pussed out big time and decided that while I have a lot of time on my hands, I don't have that much time, so fuck you, you got this fucking blog.

I'm going to be talking about a bunch of bullshit I have floating around in my head on here, like certain theories I have on two albums by Jamey J and the 'Breed, for example. Maybe I'll interview a band every great once in a while. Perhaps I'll preach the virtues of Protestant Straight Edge. I'll also tell stories of how I got to be the dude I am today.

In the spirit of that last thought, I will relate how I came to be.

My mom moved to California from North Carolina with her family when she was 18 in 1981. Shortly after moving there, she went to a high school party where she banged some Marine in a hot tub. That devil dog son of a bitch knocked her up. My mom promptly aborted the unholy spawn of the military-industrial complex errand boy. 8 months later my mom met my dad while working as a secretary in some office. They hit it off, eventually got married and then moved to Cleveland and named me after a drummer in a very popular band at the time.

Do you think my dad would have been into my mom if she had been 8 months pregnant? FUCK NO. If my mom had never gotten that abortion, my dad would have never gotten with her, their chromosomes would have never merged at the exact moment that they did and Alex Kellar would not exist today.

Moral of the story: I owe my very existence to abortion, so anyone who has a problem abortion has a problem with me!